Monday, April 28, 2008

With or without you ....

Your love , so elusive , has rendered my life worth living … when I fall asleep I can see your eyes in those distant picturesque dreams and I fail to wake up to this reality that brings new meaning to the word “ distant “ ….. I cant remember the last time I stopped and stared at an option not leading to your doorsteps … you know me and I presume I know you …. at least I want to …. So slowly does time reveal that you move farther away every time I want to come close … and I am afraid when the clock does strike, I’d be so far behind that my blurred vision would be inadequate to see you in dreams, even .... As I say this I break into a smile and I don’t know why … I really don’t . .Am I scorning myself or is it just that I remembered you trying, in vain, to untangle your hair from the headphone wire ….. . There are so many things that I remember you doing … and I fondly keep recounting them … how can I forget any of them? Aren’t they more important than the other worldly rubbish I go through everyday ?
I so wish that I could tell you that I have these memories of you, stored permanently in my heart that bring me solace when I am about to let go and break into pieces … but they might be emotionally illegal as you’re unaware of their existence …. But I promise to use them well … I do
There’s a certain me in me that tells me you are not meant for me….. but there’s also another me that says “if I can’t be with you in this life … I’ll wait … I’ll wait till this life is over and dealt with “ … Courage, it seems , precedes an emotion that they call love ……..

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