universe || life in delhi

habits die hard, so does love

this habit of yours is invariably contagious, you know

every notion of which is the least wearisome though

suddenly, i'm not in hopeless love any more,

seems i've grown it in me these days…..

Biddings || Pax Mortalis

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....

To L. H.




Sweet slumber cometh only to the peaceful mind,
For the mortal needs to rest....
And, if there's not beauty in the things you see,
My biddings have gone in waste..

Sad and hurt, this heart of mine,
Doeth enough to rouse a fire…
Yet, strands of you don’t cease to fill,
The barrenness of this vacant mire…


To part with what I have with me,
To fray this cloak i wear…
To be in love, is just a point in time,
When the mind’s without fear…


To stop this fight and live a life,
I’d make my conscience clear…
But, sadly will you tell me why,
That we’ve made this fight so dear?

... ion

Strawberry Fields Forever

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a still from the movie of the same name

Little red bubbles of love, you call them.

Trembling voices and figuring woes, gather momentum

As we walk across the misty trails, like two souls lost

In abandoned passion, and the valley’s grass gently crushed underneath.

When you speak, the words fill up my mind.

Staying awhile, I know, I might find one more dream in your eyes.

As your fingers run through my hair a voice escapes me....

You're here today, it says.

Blinded, I am, but I feel your piercing gaze

Run down my face, an inch at a time,

Its placid charity echoing your warm touch.

Only, you are here today , and it is beautiful.

Not sure if you figure what you see in these eyes,

I can see your lips curl up into a smile, as you let me

Walk you through these strawberry fields.

Just a promise lingers – forever

No !

Right! This is where I stand. See me? No? Okay, how about now? No?... Fine, I’ll wait here.

For the first time in my life, I was in a restaurant with a girl. But, I wasn’t ready to look her in the eyes. It made me uneasy. Fidgeting with the ketchup bottle, I saw how red it was from inside.The reflection in the small mirror on the wall confirmed a similar state of affairs on my face. She was anxious. She didn’t give away any reason though. For, carefully planned, I had imagined those beautiful few would be moments over and over, all of last night; actually, every night since the last few nights, to be honest.

But when it came to telling you all I did was blurt it out like it was some kind of an ultra auto-reflex muscle contraction, that had squeezed it out of me. I saw her eyes tremble. Her eyes trembled. Her lips broke into a shaky curl ; almost reminding me of how beautiful i thought her smile was. She spoke. “My turn to listen.”
When she spoke, I wasn’t there. I couldn’t feel my senses. I smiled.


Here, I stood. My first brush with a feeling I called Love. Were you there? No?... Fine, I’ll wait here.


Today, as I stand here, I can see everything. I can see how hazy you had made me. You were wearing your hair in a bun and I had my heart on my sleeves. Reckless! But, you wanted to hear exactly what I wanted to say, that day. I thank thee, for you showed me that it was “okay”.
I don’t know why I tried calling you 4 years hence. Had I said sorry, you would have asked “but, why?”


And, I don’t want to lie any more…..
Are you there, yet? No?... Fine, wake me up and I’ll happily move.

With or without you ....

Your love , so elusive , has rendered my life worth living … when I fall asleep I can see your eyes in those distant picturesque dreams and I fail to wake up to this reality that brings new meaning to the word “ distant “ ….. I cant remember the last time I stopped and stared at an option not leading to your doorsteps … you know me and I presume I know you …. at least I want to …. So slowly does time reveal that you move farther away every time I want to come close … and I am afraid when the clock does strike, I’d be so far behind that my blurred vision would be inadequate to see you in dreams, even .... As I say this I break into a smile and I don’t know why … I really don’t . .Am I scorning myself or is it just that I remembered you trying, in vain, to untangle your hair from the headphone wire ….. . There are so many things that I remember you doing … and I fondly keep recounting them … how can I forget any of them? Aren’t they more important than the other worldly rubbish I go through everyday ?
I so wish that I could tell you that I have these memories of you, stored permanently in my heart that bring me solace when I am about to let go and break into pieces … but they might be emotionally illegal as you’re unaware of their existence …. But I promise to use them well … I do
There’s a certain me in me that tells me you are not meant for me….. but there’s also another me that says “if I can’t be with you in this life … I’ll wait … I’ll wait till this life is over and dealt with “ … Courage, it seems , precedes an emotion that they call love ……..